forgetting some bad best man speeches

I have heard four horrible best man speeches that were written minutes before the ceremony. This is how you should not write the best man speeches, in a bathroom with a crayon. Lucky for me, I had my headphones on and could not hear the ridiculous amount of gibberish the Best Man started talking about. He was improvising, but since he was no Jazz performer, he fell flat on his face. Lots of people got up and left, leaving him looking like a complete slacker who had little respect for the Bride and Groom. I shook his hand afterward and said try again.